20 Funny Things to Say Before a Fight

Most domestic fights happen without due planning, while a few are planned, especially if it is on a professional level. Whatever case it may be, if you want you can throw a few lines at the person you’re going against before a fight.

Some of the things you can say may be to either demoralize the person or assert superiority over them verbally.

If you succeed in getting into their heads, then psychologically, they’ll think you’re stronger than them.

However, if you’re looking for funny things to say, I’ve got you covered. In this article, I will be discussing 20 funny things to say before a fight. Let’s go!

Best 20 Funny Things to Say Before a Fight

Knowing the best funny things to say to someone before a fight with them has to be a rare gift and I’ll be sharing some of them with you.

Before a fight, you can say something like ‘I don’t see your orthopedic. Who’s going to mend back your fragments?’, ‘I admire your confidence, but I’ll love to see you afraid and scared too’.

‘Take pride in everything else, but not these’, ‘Hope you said goodbye to your ego before taking on this fight’, and ‘You are grown and that will be a load for those taking you out’.

From above, you can see that these lines are not only funny but savagery, so you will be getting a double package with the same subscription which is to continue reading. Below is a highlight of these funny things to say before a fight.

1. I Know You Play Well, so I Brought My Blanket for You. It’s about to Be a Long Day for You

‘I know you play well, so I brought my blanket for you. It’s about to be a long day for you’ is a self-explanatory line of statement where you’re telling the person that you are not underestimating their efficacy, but you won’t be giving up easily which is why you’ve brought with you a blanket for them.

2. This Bout Is Fated and the Winner Looked Nothing Like You

‘This bout is fated and the winner looked nothing like you’ is a funny prophesy you can cook up before a fight with someone. Here, you’re saying that destiny has already chosen the winner of the fight and it wasn’t your opponent.

3. I Don’t See Your Orthopedic. Who’s Going to Mend Back Your Fragments?

Here, you’re posing a question to the person, asking if they brought their orthopedic doctor with them. And if they didn’t, who’s going to mend back the shattered parts of their body? Funny, huh?

4. I Don’t Want to End up Doing Jail Time for Abusing a Fellow Man

‘I don’t want to end up doing jail time for abusing a fellow man’ is a very bold statement to make before a fight with someone.

With this, you’re ruling out the person as someone who wouldn’t even put up a fierce fight against you, at least that’s how you see them.

READ:  15 of the Best Responses To “Eh"

5. I Feel Like I Should Give You Time To Enjoy Your Good Looks Because After You Won’t

With this line, this is you saying you want to give the person you’ll be fighting some time to bask in the euphoria of their fine physique because their beauty or cuteness won’t be there after fighting you. This means you’ll alter the person’s good looks with your fighting tact.

6. I Admire Your Confidence, but I’ll Love to See You Afraid and Scared Too

‘I admire your confidence, but I’ll love to see you afraid and scared too’ is a brazen line to employ before a fight with someone. Here, you’re asserting that you like the person’s confidence but then you’ll love to see them afraid and scared.

With this said, you’re invariably insinuating that you’ll put the person in such awkward situations, at least that’s what the person would think.

7. Don’t Bother About Winning, We Know You Will Try Your Best

‘Don’t bother about winning, we know you will try your best’ is one of those mildly savage sentences you can save up in case you intend to fight with somebody.

With this, you’re telling the person that they shouldn’t bother winning because everyone knows they’ll try their best.

8. Don’t Cry Foul After the Defeat, Cry Hen

If you talk about hilarious things to say before a fight, don’t forget about saying ‘Don’t cry foul after the defeat, cry hen’. It is one of the funniest lines here and even uses a pun to make it more credible.

9. I Know Better to Fight With Someone I Can Beat

‘I know better to fight with someone I can beat’ is a profound line you can say to shatter the confidence of the person you’re going up against in a fight.

Here, you’re insinuating that you know better to fight someone you can eliminate which is a low blow to the person you’re facing.

10. Hope You Said Goodbye to Your Ego before Taking This Fight

‘Hope you said goodbye to your ego before taking this fight’ is a hysterical way of telling someone that you will defeat them in a fight.

As well, you’re asserting that you will strip the person of their pride which is why you want to know if they’ve bidden farewells to their ego.

11. Thank the Organizers of This Fight, the Pain Will Help You Deal With Depression

‘Thank the organizers of this fight, the pain will help you deal with depression’ is a witty line of statement you can employ before a fight.

Using this, you’re not only insinuating that the other person is depressed, you’re also saying they’ll sustain a lot of pain which will help them get over their depression.

This is an indirect of saying the person is going to lose to you in what will be a fierce fistfight between the two of you.

READ:  15 Best Replies to “I Slept Like a Baby”

12. You May Not Be New To Losing but Not to This Type of Defeat

‘You may not be new to losing but not to this type of defeat’ is a striking and comic thing to say before a fight. With this statement, you’re positing that the person in question isn’t new to losing fights, which is a slap to the face on its own.

This is because this statement will devalue the person, especially if they have taken a prideful stand about the fight.

In addition, you’re equally saying that even though the person is not new to losing, they are new to your kind of defeat.

13. Take Pride in Everything Else but Not This

‘Take pride in everything else but not this’ is a funny and savage statement to dash out to someone before you engage in a brawl with them.

What you’re insinuating with this line is that the person is free to brag and take pride in other activities but never fight

 with you because you’ll be brutal in beating them up badly.

14.  You Are So Easy on the Eyes I’d Like to Think You Are Easy to Beat

‘You are so easy on the eyes, I’d like to think you are easy to beat’ is a demoralizing thing to say to someone before a fight with them. With this line, you’re telling the person that you think they’re easy on the eyes and as such would be an easy win for you.

15.  You Are Grown and That Will Be a Load for Those Taking Out

‘You are grown and that will be a load for those taking you out’ is a sassy and hilarious thing to say to someone before fighting with them.

Here, you’re positing that since the person is grown up and matured, it will be difficult for those carrying out their half-lifeless body out of the fighting scene.

What you will be trying to establish with this line is that you’ll beat the person hands down and they’ll cause a commotion while being carried out.

16.  I Will Beat You Without Even Trying

‘I will beat you without even trying’ is another interestingly comic thing you can say before a fight with someone. With this line, you’re asserting that you’ll beat the person in question even without trying.

This is you belittling the person you’re directing this to, as you are saying you can beat them even without bringing your A-game to the fight. This is a good way to infuriate someone, especially one with gloated pride and ego.

17.  You Tried Me Instead of Jesus, Be Ready To Catch a Blow

‘You tried me instead of Jesus, be ready to catch a blow’ is one of the funniest things to say in this post. This is because it references a biblical scene where Jesus emphasized forgiveness.

READ:  "Tens Of Thousands" Meaning: Here's All We Know!

As well, it draws inspiration from a track titled ‘Try Jesus’ by an American-Canadian artist called Tobe Nwigwe.

In this song, the artist posits that you should try Jesus instead of trying him because he can throw hands.

Hence, with this line, you’re telling the person that just as they tried you instead of trying Jesus Christ, they should be ready to catch a blow.

18.  Fighting Is Not My Thing but I Will Change That Status Because of You

‘Fighting is not my thing but I will change that status because of you’ is a hysterical line of statement you can throw in before a fight with someone.

Here, you’re insinuating that although you do not adore fighting, you’ll change that status because of the person.

With this, you’re saying that the person will meet your wrath despite you not being an active fighter. This works best if the fight is unplanned and you want to exert superiority.

19. I Like Smelling Like a Winner, Especially With You as the Deodorant

‘I like smelling like a winner, especially with you as the deodorant’ is a poetic, yet funny thing to say to someone before a fight.

It is poetic due to the word engineering that was done and how it indirectly calls the person a deodorant that helps you smell like a winner.

With this, you’re using this line to tell the person that they are beneath you while still using a comic pattern to do so.

20. Embrace the Fall Afterwards Like You Accepted Your Cheating Wife

Funny Things to Say Before a Fight

‘Embrace the fall afterward like you accepted your cheating wife’ is the last but not the least funny thing to say before a fight.

You’re using the statement to mock the person you’re up against by telling them to also accept the defeat you’re going to mete out to them just as they accepted back their cheating wife.

I know this is a low blow to the person, but you can use it anyway.

Final Words

Your conduct before a fight often determines the outcome. To be on the side of the aggressor which is the better side in most cases, you need to have strategic things to say.

With the right things said, you can reduce the morale of your opponent and place yourself as more confident to win. This post concerns itself with that cause but does it by featuring 20 funny things to say before a fight.

While the lines featured in this post are outrightly funny, others combine puns and sarcasm for their delivery.

Nonetheless, you’re free to use any line of your choice judiciously to get the expected result of mental and psychological submission by your opponent.



Leave a Comment