15 Funny Things To Say To A Simp

A simp is basically a person who goes beyond necessary to win the love of another person. Many people often relate this to a guy who is over-nice to a girl just to get that girl to date him. 

While this is true, it is also true that not every nice guy is a simp. But, when you have the real simp as a friend, or when you meet a simp making advances at you, there’s a better way to address him without necessarily making him feel bad. 

Personally, the best way to point out a fault to an acquaintance or friend is to say it in a funny way. That is why I have picked out 15 funny things that you can say to a simp. 

The 15 Funny Things To Say To A Simp

“Simpness Spreads Like A Disease Over You”

By saying this, you’re simply telling the person that he is so much of a simp that it’s so obvious. At first, he might find it funny until he thinks it over. 

If you say this when people are around, they’ll probably laugh over the statement and tease him about that. They might start making a guess of the girl he likes and is trying to woo. 

You might say, “simpness has Spread like a disease over you. Visit the clinic!”

At some point, he might even confide in you and ask for advice on how to woo the girl he likes without making a fool of himself. That’s your chance to exercise your dating advice expertise. 

But, you must be careful not to say this to someone you do not know at all. He might not understand the joke and might take it the other way round. 

“Host a “simposium’ then”

This will have everyone cracking over with laughter. Are you seeing how poetic the joke sounds? That’s actually what makes it funny! 

Saying to that person who is a simp, “you should host a worldwide symposium of the century” is both funny and flattery. You’re simply telling him to do what no one has ever done in a century. 

This statement will have a way of making him feel like he’s going to do something exceptional, even if it is to try to woo the girl he likes at all cost. 

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Also, you should know that by saying this to a simp, you are in a way encouraging him and also discouraging him from being one. It depends on how he takes the message from the joke. 

Whatever the statement means to him, just know that you have succeeded in cracking a joke of the century. Go ahead, make everyone double up in laughter!

“Never get caught simping”

Funny Things To Say To A Simp

Does this sound like a warning? It depends on how you say it. If you add a mischievous smile or chuckle after saying this, the person will definitely take it as a joke. 

This is case, no man wants to be known as a simp. High school boys are often teased and called simps when they are so nice to girls. 

So, it is humiliating to be caught fooling around a girl by your bullies or even friends. So, when you discover that your friend is treading that path and you subtly give this warning, you’re doing him much good. 

As much as you can’t stop him from being nice to girls, you can protect him from being bullied by other boys. A simple joke such as “don’t be caught simping” will go a long way to do that. 

You might also make this statement to warn your friend to reduce his excesses. If he is becoming too much of a fool to a girl who doesn’t like him, he needs to hear this joke. 

“You respect women? Wow, simp king!”

This is definitely a joke. No one is stopping men from respecting women but, it can be bad when it’s just too much. It’s worse when the girl doesn’t respect you back. And it’s the worst when you’re still after that same girl. 

You see why you need to use this joke on that friend who is a simp because of some lousy disrespectful girl? You don’t intend to bully the person but to point out his excesses in a funnily. 

Of course, people must be respected, women also, but, it is said that respect is reciprocal. What do you do to that person who is so blind to his feelings to see the truth?

You might have tried talking sense into him and he’s not taking it, you might want to try using this joke. This will work if that person is jovial and loves jokes. 

“Wow, simp King/Queen” if the person is a girl. Yeah, girls also can be simps. Have you seen a girl who does everything for a guy that brutally disrespects her? She needs this joke!

“There’s no escaping it. You are a simp just like Google.”

I’m boiling with laughter right now! You know that situation when you go on google to search out something and it gives you more than you demanded? What do we call that? Simping!

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You can use this particular joke when you find yourself giving to a girl more than what she deserves or even more than what he gives himself. 

“Dude! I see where you got your simping from. Google is definitely your role model!”

You will sure have everyone laughing. They will even forget that he’s actually a simp and just focus on the logic of the joke. You have not only made people laugh, you’ve added knowledge to them.

“You hang out with that girl leaving us, you’re simping!”

Funny Things To Say To A Simp

Okay, this is you being jealous and clingy. There’s no harm in an occasional hangout with your friend with the girl he likes. But, it can feel frustrating if he does that all the time. 

The girl is supposedly stealing the time you were supposed to have with your friend and pointing it out jokingly can subtly send the message to your friend. 

You’re not asking him to stop hanging out with the girl, you’re simply implying that he shouldn’t neglect you and your friends. 

Here’s why this joke will work: nobody wants to be told he’s simping. So, your friend will quickly reconsider and start spending more time with you guys. 

“Hey simp! Isn’t that what is written on your badge?”

The truth is, there might be no badge anywhere on the person. But, it is generally known that a badge is what identifies a person in a place. 

The mere fact that there’s no badge on the person is hilarious. By saying this, you’re implying that it is so obvious to everyone that the person is a simp. 

Calling him out in a funny way will put a check on him and he might reconsider cutting his excesses when it comes to his niceness to girls. 

“I think it’s tough being the very nice guy in the room, can I join you?”

As funny as it sounds, you might not want to use this joke on every simp you know. By offering to be a simp like him, you are simply implying that he is doing so much that he can’t handle on his own. 

No simp enjoys being a simp. Some of them do it out of their nature, but a good number of them are simps out of desperation. 

So, jokingly let your guy know that he is doing what’s beyond him. That if he doesn’t get help soon, he might drown.

“Stop fooling around her, you’re not her type.”

Funny Things To Say To A Simp

I’m sure you’re familiar with the “you’re not my type” trend. When a girl says this to you, it means that you do not have the qualities or looks that she wants. 

So, you can help your friend by spelling it out to him that the girl he’s after will not accept him because she doesn’t like him. There’s no harm in saying the truth sometimes. 

That is why it is better you say it in a hilarious way and ensure that he gets the message you’re passing to him. 

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“Are you familiar with simple words? because you look like a simpleton”

I’m sure you’re already laughing at this joke. This is saying that the person is a simp without actually saying the word. He might get what you’re saying depending on the situation. 

Ensure that you are saying this as a joke so that it will be on a lighter note. Depending on how you say it, some people might consider this statement to be insulting. 

But, come on! A guy who is adamant on being fooled by a girl who doesn’t like him must actually be a simpleton. 

“Be yourself, but not a simp”

This is probably my favorite of all the jokes here. Generally, there’s been the emphasis on humans living their true selves. And that’s very important. 

So, if this person who is a simp is telling you that he is being himself by being a simp, then he is getting it wrong. 

There is nothing that can’t be changed about a person. That is possible if the person sees the need for change and works towards it. 

“You must be a sucker for girls. Let me see your fingers.”

Funny Things To Say To A Simp

At this point, you are getting frustrated at the simping behavior of your friend. You might have given several pieces of advice and he’s not listening. 

So, just jokingly tell him how it sucks to watch him being a simp for ladies. Let him know that being a simp is synonymous to being a sucker.

If he doesn’t like to be addressed that way, he will reconsider and focus more on himself than on girls. You’re also telling him that being a simp is having a bad effect on him. 

“This attention is wasting, better simp on me!”

It’s obvious that this simp is bent on emptying his wallet over a lady who might not even give him attention. It is even worse if he’s not helping you out as a friend. But, he prefers spending money on a particular girl. 

Use this joke and tell him, “what a waste of attention, you can simp on me”. The goal is not to have him start spending on you. The goal is to lighten the mood and make him laugh. 

But, you never can tell, he might listen to you and spend a bit on you. 

“Who do you love most, yourself or her?”

This is a very honest question to ask. But, remember to say it in a funny way. You will be surprised to discover that this simple joke might get to him better than any. 

You can also use that opportunity to point out to him or her the importance of self love first. He is probably a simp because he hasn’t learnt to love himself as he ought to. 

He might tell you that he actually loves her most. Don’t be surprised. Most simps will say so. You can just choose to laugh over his response. 

“Simp on my bank account”.

On a lighter note, if your simp friend enjoys spending extravagantly on women, suggest that he puts the money in your account. 

Of course, he wouldn’t agree to that. But, there’s no harm in making a little joke. The thought of putting his money in your savings account might scare him and make him consider not being a simp. 


A simp is not only a man who gives so much attention to a lady. A simp can also be a girl who gives unnecessary attention to a man who doesn’t like her. 

So, whether it’s a boy or girl you’re talking to, say any of these jokes to them and you’ll have them laughing or reconsider being a simp or not. 

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