12 Appropriate Responses to Girlfriend Complaining

Guys often get confused about what exactly to do when their girlfriends start to complain. Sometimes, we think they want the issue to be resolved by us. It turns out ‘No!’ Then what do they want?

Sometimes, it is the simplest things you can do in that situation. However, it may still feel like torture for some men.

When your girlfriend comes to you and starts ranting about her issues that do not really concern you, you can say ‘Calm down. Tell me what happened.’

This will show that you are listening and that is very essential.

Before thinking of a response, you should know that;

  • It is probably not about you.
  • You are expected to react.
  • You are not expected to solve.

12 Different Responses To Your Girlfriend’s Complaints

Responses to Girlfriend Complaining

Listen closely

When your girlfriend is complaining to you, the first step you take doesn’t require you to move at all. All you have to do is listen.

You have probably been caught in a situation where your partner rants endlessly about her issues and calls you inconsiderate and other silly names for ignoring her.

That is a normal reaction from her and it may just be your fault. If you are hoping to avoid this reaction, you have to make sure you are listening to her.

How does she know whether you are listening to her or not? You probably already do but you don’t show it. You want her to know? Then say it.

  1. What’s going on? Talk to me.
  2. I’m listening.

What’s going on? Talk to me.

To show you are listening to her, you can simply ask exactly what is going on with her. Since it’s you asking, she definitely expects you to listen to her.

While you are listening to her, you have to make sure you are reacting to her words. You have to respond to her passion with your facial expressions. You can try looking directly at her.

Though that is not necessary but you shouldn’t keep your eyes away from her throughout. That way, you can avoid seeming distracted.

I’m listening

You can also simply say you are listening to her. You can say this while sitting in front of her and looking at her.

Keep your expressions and body language engaging with her stories and complaints. By listening to her, you have successfully given one right response to the complaints of your girlfriend.

Talk to her and make sure you understand

Asides from listening to her as she pours her heart out, it is also important to talk to her. This ensures that you are getting the story and understanding her complaint.

It would be a big deal if you do not understand all your girlfriend has been saying to you. Therefore, you have to make sure you are paying maximum attention.

Just as mentioned earlier, you don’t just listen to her, you should make it clear that you are listening.

One of the best ways to make it clear is to simply say you are listening and make sure you are looking like you truly are.

The same applies here. Say words and ask questions that show that you are understanding and trying to understand more.

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You can say things like ‘That’s absurd’, ‘Did he actually do that’, ‘wait. I’m not sure I heard that clearly’, etc.

  1. Let me see if I heard you correctly.
  2. He did what?
  3. What happened next?

Let me see if I heard you correctly

When you say this, you get her to stop talking for just a second and you get her to continue again.

That is you indirectly taking a bit of control over how much she’s panicking or venting. This response is what you say when you simply want to ask about what she has mentioned earlier.

Saying this will show that you have been listening to her and you are trying to understand her situation. It shows you are giving her attention and that may be all she asks from you, even though she’s not asking in words.

Also, this is just a step in getting to understand her. With enough understanding of what her situation is, you can know exactly what to do and understand why she feels that way.

He did what?

Many men already say and do this. If you don’t already, you may want to start with that. It may feel like gossiping but you are just giving your wife or girlfriend the attention she demands.

If it gets too much from her, you can calmly talk about her excesses later. When your girl is complaining, here is a kind of question you can ask while she’s narrating.

You must be reacting to what she’s saying and asking questions so you know you are not reacting wrongly.

Asking questions like ‘He did what?’ will help you know the major parts of her story and you will also be showing that you are present in the conversation between the two of you.

What happened next?

You can ask this question if she stops talking for a second. It doesn’t matter if the story or complaint is already clear to you.

You just have to know that she has poured out her heart to you and there isn’t any more complaints waiting to get out.

Asking what happened next also shows that you are in the conversation and you are actively paying attention to the development of her story.

Justify her emotions

After listening to your partner and making sure you understand all she has said, you will have a clearer view of the picture by putting yourself in her shoes.

You may already have ideas on what to do to help her out or fix the situation. You should not get right into that. Instead, find a way to calm her down.

Letting her say it all and making her feel understood will do quite a lot in making her calm.

However, justifying her emotions should do it further. It would show that you understand exactly how it feels.

You just have to talk about her feelings and how it is so correct. You may even talk about how angry you would also be.

  1. I can see you are pissed about it.
  2. I would be angry too.
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I can see you are pissed about it

This response acknowledges the fact that you know how she feels. You also have to show that you don’t simply know how she feels but also understand why she should feel that way. Make her know that you are putting yourself in her shoes.

Just keep talking about how absurd the content of her complaint is. That way, you will be getting her to calm down, knowing there is someone who supports her.

I would be angry too

Responses to Girlfriend Complaining

Whether you have a solution in mind or not, you should say this first. Saying this will let her know that she’s not being angry for no reason. If you were in her shoes, you would be equally angry.

After saying this, you can then try to calm her down. You have already shown her that you fully understand and she’s not overreacting.

Ask what she’ll do about it.

After listening to her, understanding her complaint, and justifying her emotions, you probably think it’s time to suggest a solution.

No. You have to take it slowly. It is not a long process. You just don’t have to be impatient to see the end of it.

You should ask if she has plans and what she plans to do about it. It may sound weird to her if what she has to do has already been stated.

In that case, you should simply ask if she’s taking steps already. She may have an affirmative response and that confirms she doesn’t actually need your help. If she needs your help, she would probably ask you directly.

This doesn’t mean you never ask to offer your help. However, you shouldn’t go straight to that. Let the conversation develop to that point.

  1. What do you plan to do about it?
  2. Have you done anything about it?

What do you plan to do about it?

After your partner has stated all her complaints and the issues she has, you can ask her if she has a solution already. It is quite normal to get ‘Nothing’ as a response.

That is probably the sanest response, considering the heavy complaints that were coming from her earlier.

However, you shouldn’t expect a sane response from her. You may be surprised by how needless her complaints are when she answers this question.

From this, you may actually learn that she doesn’t actually need your help or suggestion. She just wants your attention from you. She wants to feel like she is heard, then she can discuss the solution with you (or not).

When you ask her what she plans to do, she may have an actual plan or it could be one that she is unsure of. You can do the thinking for her but try making use of her plan.

If she actually acts unsure, then she is probably asking you to help her out. If she seems sure about her plan and you don’t think it will work, you can ask her how it will work out just so you see how she thinks.

Have you done anything about it?

You can also simply ask her if she has done anything already about it. This may be a pretty crucial question when trying to deal with the situation.

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She may have told someone or done something that may nullify your ideas of a solution. You may also have no idea how to solve the situation and her previous action may give you an idea.

You may even find out that she has done the hard part already so you don’t have to think or proffer any solution.

You would wonder why she comes complaining to you when she already has everything figured out. No, she doesn’t.

She has taken a step that will lead her out of the problem but she doesn’t have the confidence and faith.

You just have to calm her down and assure her that things will work out fine. That would be the end of the complaints.

However, it doesn’t stop here if she hasn’t taken any steps yet.

Ask how you can help

After hearing the solution she has given herself, you can also ask how you can help her out. It may seem unnecessary but it’s your partner so nice gestures should always be present.

This question however may be compulsory if there is no solution yet.

  1. How can I help you out?
  2. Do you need anything?

How can I help you out?

Ask if you can help with the situation in any way. It’s important to do this before making any suggestions. You are still trying to make her think of a way out by herself.

Helping her figure it out can help her in building confidence.  When you ask what you can do, she may just suggest something that helps you in helping her out.

She may also just tell you how you can make her feel better. When she answers this question, give yourself a thumbs up. You have successfully calmed her down.

Do you need anything?

You should ask if she needs anything after you have heard her plans on what to do. If there is also no plan on her mind, still ask this question before suggesting a solution.

Once she tells you what you can get for her at that particular moment, you just have to do it, then you can come back with your solution.

Suggest a solution

Now that you have successfully calmed her down, you can move to the final stage where you end the troubles with the solution you have in mind.

While she’s still fuming, you may be unable to get through to her. However, once you have calmed her down, she can listen to you and understand you clearly.

While saying this, make sure you remain calm and keep painting how your suggestion will end in a good way.

  1. How about we do…?

How about we do…?

You can give your suggestion this way. Since she is calm, you can easily make her understand your point. After you give your suggestion, tell her what she can get in return. You should also offer your help.

Say what you will do as part of your suggestion to make sure the desired outcome is realized.

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