20 Funny Responses to “You Are Dead to Me”

I bet someone has told you that you are dead to them, and instead of picking offense at it, you tend to see it as a funny remark. What do you do afterward? What do you put up as your show of response to the person?

You might want to laugh, which is not bad but the main spice of your reaction lies in how you respond. 

To this end, you may find it hard to craft the perfect response to the person as you’re still battling with laughter. However, you may not need to rack your brain any further as I will be discussing around 20 funny responses to you that are dead to me. To know more, keep reading on!

20 Funny Responses to You Are Dead to Me

Responding to someone in a way that will make them laugh is not easy, as that can match up to performing which is also hard. The act requires that you make use of ridiculous details about the person and you’ll have to use it in a way that can crack their ribs. 

I did quite a good job in curating some of the replies in this article, as they’re sure to bring smiles to the face of the person you’re responding to. Without much ado, let’s get into the meat of this post as these replies are listed below.

  • Isn’t it funny that we’re on the same page? Welcome to the land of the dead 
  • That was harsh, yet you needed it more than I do
  • That’s a shitty thing to say. I bet you’ve got more shitty things in your anus
  • Do you need a knife to effect that? Or are you cool being a clown?
  • Am I just the only one; or are you suddenly forgetting you’re also dead?
  • I bet you overheard someone say that because you don’t even know the meaning
  • So is your beautiful flower plant, so cut the chase
  • Okay, fine. So, can you say again?
  • I heard you, but can you not give people cheese at my funeral?
  • Don’t spend much on the funeral, because you and I know we both are broke
  • You sound hungry; want to try some chicken wings?
  • You look serious, yet I think they should nominate your performance for a best solo comic performance
  • Let’s say I believe you. How will you then live without getting feet massage from a dead person?
  • Are you sure? Do you need a kiss?
  • Whoever put you up to this must be thinking they made you smart
  • Can you recap, this time with the right expressions?
  • Okayyy…Just tell me when you’re done acting
  • I wasn’t even seeing you as a living thing. Are love fairies actually living things?
  • I know you’re serious, but can I eat first? Please, tell me you made something
  • It’s over? Like over the goalpost?

Isn’t It Funny that we’re on the Same Page? Welcome to the Land of the Dead 

This is such a funny response to the person who says you’re dead to them as you’re insinuating that they’re also as dead as you are. It is funny because if the person knew they were on the same page with you in all things, they wouldn’t have tagged you as a dead person.

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But since they never knew and they said it, there’s no going back. Hence, welcoming them to the ‘land of the dead’ using this line of response may come as an amusing thing to do.

That Was Harsh, yet You Needed It More Than I Do

For what it’s worth, this line of response is funny. Nevertheless, it may not be funny for the person you’re replying to, but will surely act as a comic relief for anyone around you when you said that. 

Want to ask why? Well, the thing is this. The response posits that the person who said you’re dead to them needs to hear that more than you need to. That’s the irony of the whole issue because they said to you something that they should’ve heard instead.

That’s a Shitty Thing to Say. I bet you’ve Got More Shitty Things in Your Anus

The nature of this response places it as both a funny response and also a comeback. It is hilarious because you’re shading the person with the fact that although what they said to you is shitty, they have a more shitty thing (feces) to worry about. I guess you now get the logic of the amusement. 

Albeit, you should only use this line for someone you have a personal relationship with as otherwise may erupt a possible verbal war between you and the other person.

Do You Need a Knife to Effect That? Or Are You Cool Being a Clown?

I bet you understand that when someone says you’re dead to them, it doesn’t mean that you are void of life literally. How about we paint the response to take the form of a literal approach? If we do, then you are sure to crack the rib of the person as they don’t mean you are dead, yet you are saying that. 

If that’s the plan, then you can make that work with this line of response.

Am I Just the Only One; or Are you suddenly forgetting you’re Also Dead?

How about we crack some ribs while also throwing shades at the person who says to you “you are dead to me”? That sounds like a good plan for me, so if you see things in the same light as I do, you can use this line of statement to serve the speaker a befitting response.

With this response, you’re trying to downplay the person’s mind in a way that you do not only accept to be dead to them as they say but also suggest that you also see them as if they’re dead to you too. 

I Bet You Overheard Someone Say That Because You Don’t Even Know the Meaning

Lol, what a way of demeaning the reader, while still making them and any other person around them laugh at how mundane it sounds for them to say you’re dead to them.

What you’re trying to point out is that the speaker must’ve heard the line from someone else and used it on you. If this is the reality, then the person will smile knowing that you have them all figured out.

So Is Your Beautiful Flower Plant, so Cut the Chase

To say you’re dead to them, the speaker is cutting you off their life. If that’s so, then whatever thing they have that you gifted them follows the same route. Invariably, if the person houses a flower that they got from you, it means the flower is also dead. 

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In the instance where someone demeans you by saying you’re dead to them, you can count on this line to feed them off of their plate.

Okay, Fine. So, Can You Say Again?

Funny Responses to You Are Dead to Me

Do you intend to make the person laugh at their derogatory word against you? If that’s so, then you can use this line to do just. Asking the person to repeat themselves even after you have said “okay”, only tells them that you’re joking with them. 

I Heard You, but Can You Not Give People Cheese at My Funeral?

It is funny how you can turn an idiomatic expression into a real-life situation, and then make a hilarious remark about it. That’s what you can achieve with this line of response, which overturns the speaker’s statement into an amusing response.

You’re simply telling the person not to share cheese as refreshments with people at your funeral, since they said you’re dead to them. The person will surely laugh at this joke because it is hilarious that you’re only concerned about what people who came for your funeral will take instead of considering the real matter.

Don’t Spend Much on the Funeral, Because You and I Know We Both Are Broke

This is another response that can put a smile on the face of the person who says you’re dead to them. You’re just being indifferent to this response, as you should be concerned with being cut off by the said person. But you’re rather concerned about what the person is going to spend on your funeral than trying to save the declining relationship. 

The speaker is prone to laugh at what you replied to them as they may not be expecting you to talk in that manner.

You Sound Hungry; Want to Try Some Chicken Wings?

Who would offer someone chicken wings when the same person threatens to cut you off their line by saying “you are dead to me”? It is funny and certainly ridiculous for you to use this as a response strategy. 

You Look Serious, yet I Think They Should Nominate Your Performance for Best Solo Comic Performance

What a funny way to tell the other person that their actions and words are funny. You suggesting that their statement is a comic performance, and should be nominated for an award. 

Let’s Say I Believe You. How Will You Then Live Without Getting Feet Massage From a Dead Person?

If the person who says you’re dead to them is an ex, you can crack their ribs using this line of response. Perhaps, you used to give them a feet massage; therefore, you can use this line to pose a question of who’s going to give them the feet massage.

This is hilarious since you should be worried about losing the person rather than who will give them the feet massage, If they’re stuck with this massage, they may laugh about it.

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Are You Sure? Do You Need a Kiss?

It is also funny how you’ll ask someone who says you’re dead to them if they need a kiss. Like, who does that? Well, to answer the question…that’s what you’ll be doing with this line of response.

Whoever Put You up to This Must Be Thinking They Made You Smart

Another funny response to “you are dead to me” is this line. Now, you’re no longer focusing on the speaker but you’re insinuating that someone else is putting them up to it. In that regard, you’re now throwing the shade on the unknown person that’s firing them up to make things over with you.

Can You Recap, This Time with the Right Expressions?

I’ve seen and heard a lot of funny replies, but this one is subtle yet carries that amusing flare that you can only detect if you read meaning into it.

You’re asking the person to say what they’ve said again, but this time, they should do so by using physical expressions to back it up. This is another way to tell someone to be a clown for some minutes, and trust me when I say it is a funny request.

Okayyy…Just Tell Me When you’re done Acting

If you don’t take the person that says you’re dead to them seriously, you can use this sarcastic response to reply to them. At most, you are dismissing what they’re saying even though you already said “okay”. 

I Wasn’t Even Seeing You as a Living Thing. Are Love  Fairies Actually Living Things?

You can make the person who says you’re dead to them giggle a bit if you use this line of response. You’re saying that the person is not living but is a love fairy and you doubt that these beings are living things. This could be you exalting the speaker but in a different way.

I know you’re Serious, but Can I Eat First? Please, Tell Me You Made Something

It is also hilarious for you to be only concerned about what you’ll eat instead of taking care of the relationship you have with the person who says you’re dead to them. Since the relationship has likely ended, the person expects you to at least fight for it but you’re asking for what to eat. How ridiculous of you?

It’s over? Like Over the Goal Post?

Funny Responses to You Are Dead to Me

When your spouse says you’re dead to them, it means they’re cutting ties with you. That is to say, they’re saying “it is over”. As a form of funny response, you can use this line to do that. 


Here we are; at the very end of this relatable post that samples a couple of replies for when someone says to you “you are dead to me”. These are not just any set of replies, but funny responses to the person’s statement which is probably absurd for you to digest.

I’m hopeful that these lines are perfect for use if you employ them in the right circumstances, Don’t forget to hit us up in the comment section below if you have any questions or thoughts concerning this topic and the replies which I made available.


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