One of the common questions we often get in our mail is: how do I respond when someone says ‘when can I see you?’
First off, this question can be tricky to navigate, depending on the context of the conversation and who is asking to see you (not to mention the one million and one reasons why you may not be able to commit to a specific time and date.)
It is also a common question potential partners ask in the online dating world. So, whether you’re juggling multiple prospects or simply want to take things slow, it’s important to find a way to respond that is honest but also considerate of the other person’s feelings.
To help you out, I’ve compiled a list of 15 different ways to respond to “When can I see you?”
1. “See you when I see you”
You can cancel plans even at the last minute. You could nod today and something very important will come up.
You can choose to respond with “See you when I see you” to avoid unnecessary disappointments and commit to a specific date or time. At the very least, it does not bind anyone and imposes no restrictions.
2. “I love this steakhouse (insert favorite hangout spot)”
If you are interested in seeing the person soon enough as well, you can reply in this style. It keeps you in control of where you and your partner will meet.
You can’t expect the conversation to always go the way you want, but replying with your favorite hangout gives the impression that you are equally interested in meeting with the person as soon as you both can agree on the venue and time.
3. “When do you want to see me?”
In my years of vetting dates, I have learned the beautiful art of flipping the script, which you can easily apply in this case. When someone asks, “When can I see you?” you can reply, “When do you want to see me?”
Their answer will help you make a judgment about whether you need a ghost ninja or to play ball. For example, if the person responds with a suggestion for a location and time, it indicates that they are deliberate about what they want and making an effort.
But if the person leaves the date up to you, adios!
4. “What do you have in mind?”
This is another example of flipping the script when someone asks you, “When can I see you?”
However, this one allows you to know more about the intention of the person asking. Whatever the person says after this reply will tell you all you need to know.
5. “Is that your way of asking me out?”
When you reply with this, you are teasing the person while also requesting clarity on the intent. It is best used for a scenario where you are getting along with the person.
Here is an example of where this response was used, and I’d say the conversation was pretty sleek:
6. “I’m taking things slow for now; let’s continue getting to know each other before we meet up.”
There is nothing wrong with being honest about how you feel about an invitation to a date. When the question is coming from someone you don’t know that well, this response allows you to communicate your discomfort and concern without sounding rude.
It implies that you are interested in getting to know the person more before meeting them in person.
7. “I can’t promise anything soon but it’ll be worth the wait.”
Again, not committing to a specific date and time looks like a good rule of thumb, especially for someone you will be meeting for the first time.
It is a teaser-kind-of response that puts them on the edge of their seats and makes them wait for the next opportunity. It means you have priorities at the moment, and they can wait.
8. “Let’s make a plan.”
I wouldn’t recommend giving a precise date and time. Make it clear to them that they, too, must exert effort. This response shows you embrace the idea, but it should remain a thing.
It is preferable that you both meet at a location that you both agree on and enjoy so that no one has to tell the tale of a bad date.
9. “I’m not sure yet, but I’ll keep you posted.”
This is another way to respond when someone asks you, “When can I see you?” However, with this reply, expect the person to persist from time to time.
It is not a definitive answer, but it is clear enough to put no restriction on or commitment in the event of a sudden emergency that may disrupt your plans.
You don’t have to decide on the spot, so this response helps you to think over the request and decide exactly when you’d be comfortable meeting with the person.
10. “How about next week?”
You will only use this kind of response when you are truly interested in seeing the person and are pretty sure of your schedule. You are also being courteous by ensuring that the decision is made by both of you.
11. “When the stars align, we’ll find out”
This is a witty way to respond when someone asks to see you, especially if it’s someone you meet on social media or dating apps. The phrase “when the stars align” is used to indicate that something will happen at a more fortuitous time.
So in this context, it means you will let the person know when the timing is right for you to see them or when everything works out in a way that makes it possible for you both to meet. It could imply a distance barrier or seasonal restrictions.
12. “Whenever you want, as long as you promise to bring the laughs.”
This is a smart way to respond to someone’s request to see you. It is also a way to let them know you have certain expectations.
In this context, you are letting them know you will have them whenever they want, but they should have a good sense of humor.
It is a way of saying you would enjoy their company and find it fun if they have a good attitude and can make you laugh.
You are indirectly setting the condition that you hope the meeting can be enjoyable.
13. “Let’s make a plan, but it will cost you a cup of coffee.”
When someone next asks to see you, you can kill two birds with one stone by using this response. It means you propose a coffee date, and the bill is on the person. It’s witty, smart, and precise.
14. “You name the time and place; I’ll be there with bells on.”
“Bell” is a figurative way to express eagerness and an excited attitude or presence. So this response is a way to imply that you look forward to meeting the person too and they can go ahead deciding on the time and place and then fill you in.
15. “Sooner than you think, but don’t hold your breath.”
I enjoy teasing people, and I’m sure you would in this situation. Someone is waiting for you to give a time and place where they can see you, and you respond with “Sooner than you think, but don’t hold your breath.”
It could be sooner than they’re expecting, but at the same time, nothing is guaranteed. Now they have to keep hoping with less expectation.
The Takeaway
The question “when can I see you?” Can mean different things to people, on social media where blocking/unmatching is just a few clicks away.
But one thing is certain: when someone asks to see you, it is another way of asking you out. However, the way it is being asked can come off as a red flag because it could mean they don’t like to make an effort.
On the flip side, some women might like it when they say, “When can I see you?” instead of dictating a date and venue as though she has no life.
Whatever the case may be, your response to this question should convey your honest thoughts. You need to consider your relationship with the person and whether or not it clashes with your priorities at that time.
I know that words can fail you at those moments, but I’m sure the 15 different responses now in your arsenal will come in handy.