How to Respond to an Apology for Being Stood Up

When someone is being stood up it means that the other person that made the commitment didn’t show up or reach out to them in advance to notify them of their absence. It’s the worst and it can be very hurtful.

That all changes when they send an apology. What do you say to them if you are still mad and hurt? What if you forgive them? What if you think you shouldn’t be with them anymore? I have all the replies to all these questions. Keep reading.

How to Respond If You Have Forgiven Them

Being stood up is not only hurtful but insulting. If you are willing to move past that because you want to give them another chance or for other reasons that sit well with you, then you can use these replies.

Not only does it say that you have forgiven the wrong, but it also removes the tension and awkwardness that will come after the apology:

It’s fine. I was really looking forward to it though

This response tells the person not to sweat about the issue because it is fine but at the same tells them that you are not just there for a cruise because you wanted to spend time with them.

That means it was important to you. It’s a nice way to put it out there that they should see you as just as important as you see them.

If it’s okay with you we can meet and talk about this

Let’s imagine it’s a fresh relationship and for the first time ever you were stood up. How do you reply to an apology? Ask for another date if you ask me. You don’t want to be

I understand. Trust me, I was nervous

Let’s say the reason they stood up was anxiety and just worries about how you would see them and all. This reply can be used to calm down and make them feel better about the situation and themselves.

If it was the first date I am not sure anyone would give it another shot but if you are then yes you would understand their nervousness and worries.

I was really worried I was the problem

How to Respond to an Apology for Being Stood Up

You can use this reply to deflect attention from what they did. If they were feeling shy, this reply will help them assure that no it’s not you but them. If they were also being vague about why they didn’t show up, this reply will get them to give honest reasons.

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I wish you have told me you wouldn’t show up

It sounds like a regret but it doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t hang out with them later. It means I could have gotten some work done, been more productive, and finished up some things I had been putting off.

While this doesn’t say, “I forgive you, let’s try again”, it doesn’t mean you are saying goodbye. It makes them decide how to move next. Will they ask you on another date, or will break this off and remain shy? It’s up to them, you don’t mind.

I was so worried. Is everything alright?

If you are still in for the “deflecting attention from their crime” thing then you can say this. They will see you as caring, like, “I am sure you wanted to come but maybe something came up.” It’s a great way to get them talking immediately.

If anyone stood you up, you deserve an honest reason why they did that. With this reply, they will want to allay your fears and there will be no need to do that unless they tell you the truth just to put you at ease.

If you want an alternative you can also say, “I hope nothing is wrong”.

Might take a while to heal from but it’s fine

This reply is honest and it’s saying, “I’m trying to forgive you but it still hurts. Let’s move on so this can be a thing of the past.”

They will know not to do that again and they will understand that the appointment or date you made was important to you. You can also rephrase this to be, “If I’m being honest, I felt really bad but I will get over it”.

Let’s discuss this over coffee. What do you say?

I like how this reply doesn’t dwell on the problem. It takes advantage of it and tries to make another date. With this in place, if they flop you know that it’s time for you to move on.

How to Respond If You Are Playing Hard To Get

How to Respond to an Apology for Being Stood Up

Aka the passive-aggressive, i-won’t-drop-it-so-quickly replies. Maybe you do forgive them but you are playing hard to get or you just want to teach them a lesson so that it never happens again, you can use these replies.

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Just be sure that in the end, you mention that you do forgive them and it’s all in the past:

It’s not very nice, even after an apology

This is a mild one in this category. It just says “hey, you can’t wipe last night’s mistake with a 280-character apology and a smile”. It’s also good if you feel they are not Sincere.

Generally, this reply should make them apologize again, fully accepting the blame but if they don’t show any form of remorse, you know that they don’t mean it. Smart, huh?

And to think I spent so much time preparing

This reply sounds like you weren’t even listening. You are stating your grievances to show that “hey I really felt bad. I could have gone out with the girls”.

They will of course apologize again and then you can drop the act and move on.

Here’s an example:

A: Julia, listen, I am so sorry about last night. I should have called or even sent a text. I was so worried about what you would think and by the end of the night. I felt even worse. I am so sorry.

B: And to think I spent so much time preparing

A: I understand. I am so sorry I made you look that way

B: Oh, it’s alright love. We can work it out. How about tomorrow night?

I didn’t expect to be ghosted on a first date

How to Respond to an Apology for Being Stood Up

This reply is very specific. You can’t say this if it wasn’t a date or if it wasn’t the first. It tells them exactly how you feel and you maybe haven’t forgiven them.

It will be up to them to give you a good enough reason to try to make things work unless you are not going to stick around.

It wouldn’t have hurt to call or send a text

And it really wouldn’t. If they had reached out to you in some way there would be no need for an apology and everything would have gone fine.

This reply points out that they could have done that. Don’t think it sounds too obvious or like you are giving them a speech because some people have communication problems.

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This reply might be great to mention without making it seem like a huge deal or quarrel.

Thanks for the apology. What do you say we try again but this time you show up?

This reply says, “let’s move on. No time to mope”. Thanking for the apology is acknowledging but as far as you know, that’s nice but not important.

Spending time with them is all that matters. They should be grateful and be sure to show up the next time.

I can’t say it is very easy to drop but I am willing to move past it.

It’s not very feisty but it expresses how you feel and tells them to watch it. They will be sure to be alert so they don’t lose you.

Let’s hope this never happens again

While this sounds a bit commanding, it is a good thing to hope. If you are going to use this and you are not going for a mean girl effect, say it gently with a smile so that it sounds like you are saying, “it’s all in the past, let’s put that behind us”.

How to Respond If You Haven’t Forgiven Them

How to Respond to an Apology for Being Stood Up

You are not compelled to accept every apology and if you feel that is a deal breaker for you if you don’t want to be with them anymore or have any business with them, you can just call it quits. Here’s how:

I feel that’s very irresponsible of you

Straight-on attack. It is irresponsible because they should be able to handle commitments. If they feel they can’t, they should let you know rather than standing up. It shows no consideration for your energy, time, and feelings. It’s also perfect if they didn’t give a good reason.

Keep your apology. I am done.

And that’s goodbye. If it was that bad, maybe it has happened before or you feel it’s a deal breaker or maybe the relationship wasn’t going well then you can say this. It’s simple, straightforward, and doesn’t do the job without mincing words.


And that’s a wrap. Being stood up is not something anyone should look forward to but if it happens, try to calm down, assess your feelings, then hear from them before you make the final decision and use any of these replies.

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