25 Funny Responses to “Can You Cook?”

The ability to cook differs from one person to another. While some people are super cool when it comes to expressing their culinary skills, others are barely well-off.

The status of the latter set of people can become laughable if they’re presented with an opportunity to prove their strength in the kitchen. If you fall within this group, it could tickle you when someone asks you ‘can you cook’.

However, if someone doubts you’re good at cooking you owe him or her no explanations or proof of evidence. To this effect, a funny response will serve right from you to these persons.

In this post, I’ll be walking you through 25 funny responses to ‘can you cook’. For more details, keep reading!

25 Funny Responses to ‘Can You Cook?’

Sounding funny could be a not-too-easy thing to do. However, you are sure to crack up somebody if you were to say bizarre things about your kitchen escapades.

This will be the basics of most of the funny responses on this post.

I curated a list of the best 25 responses to can you cook below, with details coming right after the highlight.

Some of these funny responses to ‘can you cook’ include ‘depends on your definition of cooking’, ‘I can, but you may not be excited about it’, ‘nahh, I try but it’s not always pretty, and ‘I think so; cutting cabbage and lettuce wasn’t a hard job’.

  1. Definitely, cooking is my mission on earth
  2. Nahh, I try but it’s not always pretty
  3. Only if you won’t be doing the tasting
  4. If you mean setting up the gas cooker, then I can
  5. Who doesn’t know? Even the house dog does
  6. If I only need to survive the night then I can
  7. I can, but you may not be excited
  8. I’m so good, KFC can’t afford my pay
  9. I can cook, but there’s no guarantee it will taste like a proper chef’s
  10. I should be able; at least my wife like it when I do
  11. I think so; cutting cabbage and lettuce wasn’t a hard job
  12. It might be a bit chaotic, but I am sure I can
  13. I really do, especially if I’m the only one eating
  14. If I’m only permitted to watch SpongeBob while on it
  15. I can do that; just get your anti-food poisoning pill handy just in case
  16. What’s there? Chopping up onions is not that hard
  17. Sure I can, especially with the two eggs in-between your legs
  18. I was born in the kitchen, so you should know what that means
  19. I don’t need to prove to you that I can warm up KFC chicken laps
  20. Are you asking if I can boil potatoes? Because I can do that
  21. Depends on your definition of cooking
  22. Cooking? Yeah, I can make your stomach rumble
  23. I didn’t see that coming. Well, I can. I mean I was able to rightfully toast my bread this morning
  24. Don’t make cooking seem like running a marathon
  25. If you mean by arranging chicken laps and chips on the grill stand, then cooking has got nothing on me

1. Definitely, Cooking Is My Mission on Earth

Sarcasm is a great tool for inducing laughter, making it a viable cheat code for generating funny responses when someone asks you ‘can you cook?’

That is what this line of response is centered on because it is unusual for someone to say that their mission on earth is to cook.

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Who does that? I mean, cooking is more or less a survival skill and if it’s a person’s mission on earth then something is amiss.

Given you’re not a chef and barely can name world-class cuisines; it will be laughable to answer the question by telling the person that cooking is your mission on earth.

2. Nahh, I Try but It’s not always pretty

This is another simple, yet funny response to ‘can you cook’. With this line, you’re indirectly telling the person that you can’t cook. But so as not to make it come off bad, you choose to use ‘not pretty’ as your bailout.

I’m sure the person you’re trying to convince will smell what you’re trying to do and catch you off guard.

3. Only if You Won’t Be Doing the Tasting

Aha! Here will be you acclaiming superiority in the kitchen only if the questioner won’t be testing whatever it is you will be making. Can you get any funnier than this?

This is because I’ll choke with chuckling if I were to be around when you say this as your response.

4. If You Mean Setting up the Gas Cooker, Then I Can

We all know that cooking goes beyond setting up the gas cooker, so it could be ridiculous if you consider yourself a good cook for just knowing how to do that.

That makes this line of response worthy to be recognized in this list as a funny response to ‘can you cook’.

5. Who Doesn’t Know? Even the House Dog Does

If someone tries to talk you down because they doubt the fact that you’re a good cook by asking you ‘can you cook?’; you can funnily reply to them by using this line of response.

You insinuate that you’re so good at cooking, so much that the house dog can confess to it.

6. If I Only Need to Survive the Night Then I Can

Who turns a good cook just to survive a single night of hunger? No one I can think of at the moment except for you.

Yeah, it is hilarious to think that the only time you know how to cook is when you have to survive the night.

7. I Can, but You May Not Be Excited

Funny Responses to Can You Cook

Sheesh… it is tough for you to say that you can cook but the person who asked you the question ‘can you cook’ may not find it an exciting thing to do when he or she tastes your delicacy.

You’re simply telling the person you can’t cook without being very vocal about it. Don’t worry about being serious; you’re already competing with the joker.

8. I’m so good, KFC Can’t Afford My Pay

Did you know there’s no rule that you have to be genuine to sound funny? I bet you didn’t. With that said, you can use this line of response to funnily reply to anyone who asks you ‘can you cook?’.

9. I Can Cook, but there’s No Guarantee It Will Taste Like a Proper Chef’s

It is a direct shot to your legs when you say that you don’t guarantee that your meal will taste will that of a chef’s own.

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It’s giving…lack of confidence and uncertainty. Therefore, instead of being blunt with being uncertain you can spice things up a bit.

10. I Should Be Able; At Least My Wife Like It When I Do

Still, in the vein of being unsure of your cuisine abilities, you can use this funny response for the person who asks you ‘can you cook?’.

With this response, you’re judging insinuating that you can by your wife’s reaction to when you cook.

11. I Think So; Cutting Cabbage and Lettuce Wasn’t a Hard Job

You must be really funny to think that you can answer the question of ‘can you cook?’ by citing your ability to cut cabbage and lettuce.

It is hilarious because doing this is just a baseline activity for the main cooking process.

12. It Might Be a Bit Chaotic, but I Am Sure I Can

It should be a big no from you if you tend to bring chaos when you cook, but for you to say with detail what the person is to expect from the kitchen shows your level of clownery.

13. I Really Do, Especially if I’m the Only One Eating

Funny Responses to Can You Cook

It is funny to think that you can only cook when you’re the only one eating. This shows that you’re not confident about the meals you make, and you know what they say about the chicken-hearted health student…they don’t make good doctors.

14. If I’m only Permitted to Watch SpongeBob While on It

The SpongeBob show is an animation comic relief show, and mentioning it alongside your response is sure to drive up laughter.

Plus, it’s unheard of that a person only becomes good in the kitchen if they’re watching animated comic shows.

15. I Can Do That; Just Get Your Anti-food Poisoning Pill Handy Just in Case

This right here is another funny response to ‘can you cook?’. You’re telling the person to get their anti-food poisoning drug ready if you cook. What a way to say that you suck in the kitchen!

16. What’s there? Chopping up Onions Is Not That Hard

If you’re going to say this line, it means you think cooking is as easy as chopping onions. And if that’s true, guess who’s funnier than the joker?

17. Sure I Can, Especially With the Two Eggs In-Between Your Legs

Ouch, this one must hurt, especially if the person who asked ‘can you cook?’ said that to mock you. This response will serve them right because I know it will.

18. I Was Born in the Kitchen, so You Should Know What That Means

Being given birth in the kitchen doesn’t guarantee you will be the best chef. Well, this line of response suggests otherwise and that alone qualifies it on its position as one of the funniest responses on this list.

19. I Don’t Need to Prove to You That I Can Warm Up KFC Chickens Laps

The microwave is not sophisticated cooking equipment. So if your ability to use it for warming up your KFC chicken laps means you can cook, you should run a quick medical checkup because it sounds ridiculous.

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Well, that’s the message you’re conveying with this response.

20. Are You Asking if I Can Boil Potatoes? Because I Can Do That

Aside from boiling potatoes, which is seemingly easy ‘can you cook?’ The answer to that is no. If you’re looking for the fun fact after realizing this, then your sense of humor is less than 0.

21. Depends on Your Definition of Cooking

I’m sure the person you reply to with this line will giggle and realize the joke in all of it. Someone who can cook will affirm, but your response begs to differ in a very hilarious way.

22. Cooking? Yeah, I Can Make Your Stomach Rumble

Sometimes, your stomach rumbles when you eat, especially if you’ve just come out of a hunger streak.

Since that reaction is possible due to cooked food, this response implies you can also make that reaction happen. If indirect sarcasm were to be a line of a statement then it would be this line of response.

23. I Didn’t See That Coming. Well, I Can. I mean I Was Able to Rightfully Toast My Bread This Morning

You’ll be seen as a funny fellow if you were to respond to the question ‘can you cook?’ by saying this line of response.

You’re implying that you can cook just because you were able to toast your bread this morning.

24. Don’t Make Cooking Seem Like Running a Marathon

Since cooking is a skill not too many people have, they see it as a hard task. If you fall in the category of not-too-good people like me, you can use this line of response to act defensively.

That would be you reducing how ridiculous it would sound if someone got to know that you can’t cook. Smart move; don’t you think?

25. If You Mean by Arranging Chicken Laps and Chips on the Grill Stand, Then Cooking Has Got Nothing on Me

Virtually everyone can arrange and handle chicken pals and potato chips on a barbecue grill stand. That activity doesn’t count as cooking.

But if you see it as one because you’re good at it, then you’re funnier than Michael Blackson. The questioner would also share in this laugh.

Parting Words

When I started learning to cook, it felt like a dream come through. It was like the same feeling you get when your favorite collegiate basketball player gets drafted into the NBA.

Well, at the same time I had to battle with the question ‘can you cook?’ whenever someone brings it up.

If you were like me, or you still don’t know the right amount of salt to add to your chicken pepper soup, you can tickle the fancy of the person who asked you ‘can you cook?’ with a funny response.

In the course of this post, I did a great job bringing the best of these funny responses to your notice; I’m glad to help…lol

You’re free to shoot your questions and suggestions our way as you can make use of the comment section below to do that. Go give them that good laughter!

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