When it comes to unwanted and inappropriate advice, the phrase ‘keep your legs closed’ is a classic.
It’s an outdated, misogynistic, and sexist expression that implies women should not be sexually active or that they lack control over their own bodies.
However, the truth is that it is up to individuals to decide what they do with their bodies, and no one should be shamed or judged for their choices.
The following list of the 20 best responses to ‘keep your legs closed’ will help you confront this outdated expression and take back your power.
From witty retorts to hard-hitting factual comebacks, this list will give you the ammunition you need to stand up to those who think it’s ok to tell women what to do with their bodies.
So, if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of this inappropriate phrase, remember these 20 responses and keep your head held high.
20 Best Comebacks to “Keep Your Legs Closed”
It’s no secret that women face a lot of prejudice and judgment in our society. One of the most egregiously sexist comments that women hear all too often is ‘keep your legs closed’.
Whether it’s coming from a family member, friend, stranger, or colleague, this phrase implies that women should be responsible for controlling the sexual behavior of men, which is both unfair and unreasonable.
Unfortunately, this type of attitude towards women is pervasive in our society, so it’s important to have witty responses ready in order to shut down such comments whenever they arise.
Here are 20 witty responses to when someone tells you ‘keep your legs closed’.
- My legs are mine to keep open or closed. They’re not yours to regulate.
- Yeah, I’ll keep them closed if you keep your mouth shut.
- What kind of leg closure do you prefer? Velcro or zipper?
- I’ll keep my legs the way I please.
- I’m sorry, I don’t have any legs.
- My legs are not a vending machine.
- I’ll decide what to do with my body, thank you.
- That’s none of your business.
- You should not worry yourself about me
- How about you keep your opinions to yourself?
- My body, my choice.
- It is not your position to decide how I handle my body
- That’s none of your concern.
- My legs are not a moral issue.
- I don’t need your permission to do anything.
- I don’t need you to tell me how to behave.
- It’s my body, and I’ll do what I want with it.
- You should not tell me what to do.
- Oh, sorry. I was just trying to let in some air.
- My legs are none of your business.
My legs are mine to keep open or closed. They’re not yours to regulate
This phrase is a suitable reply to ‘keep your legs closed’ because it is an empowering message that puts the decision-making power back in the hands of the person receiving the advice.
It reminds the person that the decision about when and how to use their legs lies with them, not with someone else.
By asserting that their legs are their own to regulate, the person is taking ownership over their body, their choices, and their autonomy.
Yeah, I’ll keep them closed if you keep your mouth shut
This reply is indicative of an unbalanced power dynamic, where one person is attempting to control the behavior of another.
It implies that the speaker has some kind of leverage over the other person, such as a prior relationship or an unequal distribution of resources.
It also implies that the speaker is not open to discussion, as the response implies that any further discussion will be met with negative consequences.
What kind of leg closure do you prefer? Velcro or zipper?
This sarcastic reply implies that the speaker is not taking the other person’s advice seriously.
The speaker is suggesting that the other person is being too controlling and that instead of telling them to keep their legs closed, they should be asking them what type of closure they prefer for their legs.
This is an amusing, yet clever way to reject the other person’s advice.
I’ll keep my legs the way I please
I’ll keep my legs the way I please is a sarcastic reply to keep your legs closed.’ It implies that the speaker is in control of their own body and that no one else can tell them what to do with it.
This statement is often used in response to someone who is trying to dictate another person’s sexual behavior or to imply that the one who is trying to control is out of line.
It is a powerful declaration of autonomy and an important reminder that no one has the right to make decisions about someone else’s body.
I’m sorry, I don’t have any legs
This phrase is often used sarcastically in response to someone who has suggested that a woman should keep her legs closed in order to avoid unwanted pregnancies.
It serves to mock the idea that a woman is solely responsible for any adult activities she may engage in, and implies that the suggestion is ridiculous and out of touch.
Its implication is that even if someone were to actually have no legs, it would still not be enough to keep them from engaging in any sexual activities.
The phrase also serves as a reminder that no one should make assumptions about a person’s sexual activities or practices based on their gender or physical appearance.
My legs are not a vending machine
The phrase My legs are not a vending machine. is a witty, yet sardonic response to the phrase ‘keep your legs closed’.
It is a way to express the absurdity of the notion of controlling one’s sexuality or what people do with their bodies.
It implies that people should not be expected to adhere to certain standards of behavior, especially when it comes to their own personal autonomy.
It is an empowering statement that emphasizes the importance of free will and that people should be free to make their own decisions, regardless of what others may think or expect.
I’ll decide what to do with my body, thank you
This sardonic reply is a biting retort against the outdated notion that a woman’s body is not her own but instead is subject to the whims of society.
It is a call to arms for women to take back their autonomy and control of their bodies and make their own decisions regarding their sexual activities.
By making this reply, the speaker is repudiating the idea that one’s body is a commodity to be used for the purpose of pleasing others, and instead claiming that she is the sole decision maker when it comes to her body.
It is a powerful statement of self-determination and a reminder that one’s body is not anyone else’s to command.
That’s none of your business
is a suitable reply to the inappropriate and intrusive statement ‘keep your legs closed’. This implies that the person making the statement has no right to make such a judgment or comment.
It serves as a reminder that one’s body is a private matter and that it is not appropriate to make such comments.
Furthermore, it conveys the message that the person making the inappropriate statement is not in a position to pass judgment.
Thus, this phrase is a suitable reply to such a statement as it sends a strong message that the statement is not acceptable.
You should not worry yourself about me
This is an appropriate response to the phrase ‘keep your legs closed’, as it acknowledges the concern being expressed and reinforces the idea that the individual in question is capable of making their own decisions regarding relationships and intimacy.
It also implies that the speaker has faith in the individual’s ability to make the right choices for themselves.
It implies that the individual is in control of their own body and can make decisions about when, where, and with whom to share it.
How about you keep your opinions to yourself?
This phrase implies that the speaker has no right to make such a judgmental remark and instead should be focusing on themselves.
It suggests that the speaker is being inappropriate and intrusive, thus the reply is meant to put a halt to their opinionated manner.
By saying this, the listener is setting a boundary to make it clear that their personal opinion on the matter is not welcome.
This phrase is a polite way of expressing disapproval and asserting the listener’s right to privacy.
My body, my choice
The phrase My body, my choice is a powerful assertion of bodily autonomy and self-determination.
It is a reminder that individuals should have the right to make decisions about their own bodies free from judgment, coercion, or control.
It is a suitable reply to ‘keep your legs closed’ because it emphasizes that the decision of when and with whom to engage in intercourse should rest solely with the individual.
It is not your position to decide how I handle my body
This sentence is a powerful reminder that no one has the right to dictate another person’s decisions regarding their body.
It is a necessary statement to make when faced with a situation in which someone is trying to impose their view of physical behavior onto another person.
It is a reminder that ultimately each individual is responsible for their own actions and must be allowed to make their own choices without interference.
That’s none of your concern
This is an appropriate response to someone telling you to ‘keep your legs closed’ because it communicates that the speaker is not interested in engaging in the conversation and finds the statement inappropriate.
It implies that the speaker’s personal decisions and boundaries are respected and not up for discussion.
My legs are not a moral issue
This statement challenges the prevailing attitude that a woman’s body is a moral issue.
It emphasizes that one’s body is their own and should not be judged or controlled by others.
I don’t need your permission to do anything
This statement is a way of asserting one’s independence and autonomy; it suggests that one does not need to seek permission from anyone else to do what one wants.
It also implies that the speaker’s decisions are their own and their body is their own to do with as they wish.
I don’t need you to tell me how to behave
This phrase is a way to assert autonomy and self-respect, as well as to express disapproval of the other person’s intrusive and offensive comment.
It is a strong statement that conveys the message that the speaker’s behavior is their own choice, and should not be dictated by another.
It’s my body, and I’ll do what I want with it
This phrase is empowering and emphasizes the autonomy of a person over their own body.
It is a strong statement that reminds the other person that they do not have the right to dictate how someone should treat their own body.
You should not tell me what to do!
This phrase implies that the speaker is confident in their own autonomy and does not need another person to dictate their decisions.
It also sends a clear message that the speaker is not comfortable with the speaker’s judgment about their behavior.
Oh, sorry. I was just trying to let in some air
This sarcastic reply implies that the person was not trying to be inappropriate, but rather that they were attempting to give themselves some space and ventilation.
In other words, the response is a humorous way of implying that the person’s suggestion to ‘keep your legs closed’ was unnecessary and out of line.
My legs are none of your business
This phrase is a strong expression of autonomy and self-respect. It is a way of asserting that one’s body and decisions are their own and not subject to someone else’s opinion.
It implies that the speaker is not obligated to answer to anyone else’s expectations or judgment.
These responses show that women are in control of their own bodies and don’t need anyone else to tell them what to do.
It also sends a powerful message that women should be respected and not judged for their choices. So the next time someone tells you to ‘keep your legs closed’, you can speak up with confidence and wit.
Conclusion
In conclusion, when someone tells you to ‘keep your legs closed’, it is important to remember that no one should be telling you what to do with your body.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer that works for everyone in this situation, but there are many ways to politely and assertively let someone know that this type of comment is not appropriate.
The most important thing is to stand up for yourself and make sure that you are comfortable with your sexual choices and boundaries.
From humorous comebacks to educational responses, this article provides a great starting point for finding the right response for you.