20 Polite Ways to Ask Why Someone Is Talking To You

There are several reasons to ask why a person is talking to you. That is the purpose of this article. There are surprising situations where it feels like a person won’t stop seeking your attention.

Sometimes, it’s just a stranger person who has never talked to you before. In even more cases, it’s just someone telling you something you don’t need to know or complaining about something that is not your business.

Asking this question can sound pretty rude but there are cases where you have to be straightforward to pass your message. Below are 20 responses and how they work in certain situations.

20 Polite Ways To Ask Why Someone Is Talking To You

  1. Why do you seek my attention?
  2. What is the reason behind this chat?
  3. Why are we having this conversation?
  4. Is there something bothering you?
  5. Do you have a question?
  6. What do you need?
  7. Is something wrong? This is unusual.
  8. We shouldn’t be having this conversation.
  9. Are you okay?
  10. Should you be talking to me about this?
  11. Why are you asking me this?
  12. To be talking to me, you must be really bored.
  13. This isn’t the right time to talk.
  14. What is this conversation about?
  15. I don’t understand why you are discussing this with me.
  16. I don’t understand your question. What are we talking about?
  17. I think you should be discussing this with someone else.
  18. Is it important that we talk now?
  19. Do you need my help with something? Talk to me.
  20. Why are you chatting with me? It’s the first time.

Why do you seek my attention?

Ways to Ask Why Someone Is Talking To You

You can throw this question to a person who is obviously seeking your attention. ‘Obviously’ is bolded because you have to make sure it is obvious, or else you may be getting the same reaction you would give to someone who considers himself or herself too important to converse with you.

You can make this more polite by making it sound like a joke. If it is not very obvious to you, you can make it sound polite by tweaking this question a little; ‘Why does it look like you are seeking my attention?’

You can also just urge the person to talk to you or say whatever it is.

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This means the person should go straight to the point instead of unnecessary circumlocution.

What is the reason behind this chat?

Oftentimes, the advice is to not bother asking why a person is talking to you. Rather, you can just play along till the person eventually reveals the purpose of the laughs and unnecessary prefixes.

However, that may be quite tiring, as the process may be way too long to the end. You can push the person straight to the point by asking.

If you are chatting with a person who wouldn’t chat with you on a normal day, it should be very okay and understandable to ask this question.

If the chat is also seeming unnecessary or just questioning, you can ask why it is happening. This will make the person go straight to the point and you can give the answers that the person seeks from you.

Why are we having this conversation?

There are several reasons you may want to ask this question. That is entirely dependent on the conversation you are having.

You can imagine a friend of yours talking about your daughter or your sister all of a sudden. Of course, you would wonder why that is happening so you can directly ask why he or she is talking about your sister or daughter.

The conversation may be one you both have already had earlier. It may be one that you consider settled already so you may ask why the person is bringing it up again.

Also, it may be a conversation addressing a topic that is totally not your business. You can ask this question first before telling the person who should be addressed with the questions or the conversation.

Is there something bothering you?

You can say this also when it seems weird that a person is talking to you. The fact that the person is talking to you may not be what is getting you startled.

It may simply be the weirdness of the person’s words or just the topic of the conversation.

If the person appears to be complaining about something you are not very sure of, you can ask this question.

If the person is also just talking about several things that do not seem connected, this question is also very appropriate.

As he or she thinks of an answer to your question, you will be making the person organize his or her thoughts and tell you what the real problem is.

Do you have a question?

Sometimes, it is usually clear that a person wants to ask you something from the person’s gestures or the person’s choice of words.

It is the same way you can be reluctant to ask certain questions of a person, depending on who the person is.

If a person is having a conversation with you and perambulating unnecessarily, you can tell that the person is finding it hard to hold onto a conclusion.

The person may also have eyes on you that suggest doubt but are not asking the question. You can simply tell the person to ask his or her question so you can give an answer if you have one.

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What do you need?

Ways to Ask Why Someone Is Talking To You

This is a good way to shut your little brother or sister up when he or she comes to disturb you with unusual chats.

You can tell that a person has only come with requests if he or she is always coming with requests. The person’s choice of words when starting a conversation with you may also make it obvious that he or she needs a favor from you.

Asking why he or she is talking to you will sound really weird. Instead, you can ask what the person needs.

To avoid sounding dismissive, you can smile like you suspect mischief and talk about the choice of words that you don’t consider ordinary from the person talking to you.

Then you can ask what the person needs from you.

Is something wrong? This is unusual

Yes. You can say this directly if your not-so-close friend just comes to you and starts a chat vibrantly with you.

The energy is so unusual and unreal so it is quite easy to tell that he or she is heading somewhere with the chat.

The person may have something to request from you or just have something to share with you.

Simply asking if something is wrong is okay, as long as you are not wearing a dismissive frown that suggests your lack of interest in the conversation.

However, it is okay and advisable to add that you find it unusual. That indirectly explains your reaction and why you are asking the question. This way, you can dampen the risks of appearing rude to the person before you.

We shouldn’t be having this conversation

This is not a question but it is an indirect way of asking why you are part of a conversation. When you say you and the speaker should not be having a conversation, the person will most likely tell you why you are an essential part of the conversation.

Sometimes, this may not produce the result you expect but it should not be your fault since you really should not be part of that discussion.

To make sure you are not hurting the feelings of someone who just wants to talk to you, you can just go along with the conversation instead.

Are you okay?

Here is a good question that asks about a person’s welfare. There are several reasons you may have to ask this question.

If the body language of the speaker appears weird, you may want to ask why he or she appears like that.

If the person is also complaining about things you don’t understand or just ranting passionately, you may want to tell the person to take it easy.

Tell the person to take it easy and take a deep breath. Then you can ask what the person is dealing with or what the person is complaining to you about. That totally answers your question of why the person is talking to you.

Should you be talking to me about this?

Only ask this question if you think the topic of the conversation should not or never be your business. Asking this question when the opposite is true is not a good idea. You don’t want to sound like you are actively trying to evade your responsibility.

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The person may simply be ranting because he or she needs someone to listen. It may not be a complaint that you have to hear.

It may also not be something you can solve. However, you can listen and support the person’s complaints. This is usually true about women and some men.

You can ask this question and suggest a solution to the person. Tell the person to work towards solving the problem instead of continuously ranting about it.

Why are you asking me this?

The person may be asking you several questions in a way that sounds like he or she is driving towards a point or trying to get information from you.

If you don’t know what it is about, you don’t want to shoot yourself in the leg so you may have to ask what the interrogation is about.

You can ask why you are being asked the questions and you just may know why the person has come to you.

To be talking to me, you must be really bored

One of the ways of getting the right answers out of a person’s mouth is to suggest a wrong one so the person responds with the right one.

If you are talking to someone who doesn’t usually talk to you, you can give this statement. That way, the person may either confirm that he or she is bored or just tell you why the conversation is happening.

This isn’t the right time to talk

How does this ask why a person is talking to you? Of course, this doesn’t work in every case but it should get your answer if the other person knows that the conversation should not be happening at that moment.

You are indirectly asking why the person is talking to you when he or she knows it’s not the right time to talk.

What is this conversation about?

You can directly ask what the conversation is about. This is more suitable when you are talking to a group of people rather than just one person.

Everyone may be talking and you don’t seem to understand the topic. You can point that out

I don’t understand why you are discussing this with me.

You should ask this question if the matter is a personal one. This may also imply that the conversation should be with someone else.

I don’t understand your question. What are we talking about?

You can say this if a person starts the conversation with a question. Some questions are so weird and may seem like an attack on yourself or another person.

This way, you know where the question is heading before you answer.

I think you should be discussing this with someone else.

If the conversation is not something you can relate to, you can just tell the person this. The person may respond with what part of the conversation is your business.

Is it important that we talk now?

If the time is obviously wrong to talk, you expect the person to be aware of that. When you ask how important the issue is, you are telling the person to get to the heart of the issue.

Do you need my help with something? Talk to me

If a person is complaining endlessly in words you can’t understand, you can just offer help to the person. Most people will or directly ask you for help but they expect you to make the gesture.

Why are you chatting with me? It’s the first time.

You can ask this question if the person is a friend you’ve known for a while but have rarely or never chatted with.

Of course, it will be strange to have the conversation and there is high chance that there is an intention behind the chat.

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