How would you respond if your ex returns and says sorry? That answer is entirely dependent on how you feel. You can give your ex a thought right now.
Think about what caused the break-up and how you feel about it, currently. This helps you make your decision, then you can think of the right way to respond to him or her.
Your response depends on how you feel about your ex and whether or not you accept the apology.
If you are here for ideas on how to phrase your response, we’ve got your back. Move straight down and pick the one that suits you from the two lists below.
20 Appropriate Responses when your Ex Says Sorry
- I have my faults too, after all.
- I forgot about it already.
- I forgive you.
- So what happens now?
- Apology accepted.
- I am sorry for all I did too.
- I forgave you long ago
- What can I say? I missed you
- I wish you had said this earlier. I forgive you.
- I’m no longer angry with you. Glad to hear this though.
- So am I.
- I have heard you
- Took you so long.
- I’m glad you realize now.
- We are doing fine apart, already. You can see.
- That doesn’t fix anything.
- I still need some time.
- I’ll think about it.
- I’m still dealing with this. Some other time.
- I’m sorry too. Good luck.
10 Ways To Respond To Your Ex’s Apology (If you accept the apology)
I have my faults too, after all
Talking about your own faults is one way to accept an apology. It will sound really weird if you are admitting that you have your faults in the situation and still refuse to accept the apology.
You should note that there is a difference between accepting your ex’s apology and actually accepting to continue the relationship. They are two different things.
This response is only suitable if you accept your ex’s apology but it doesn’t say whether you can have the relationship back or not.
If you want to continue the relationship, you can give your ex a smile and ask about his or her status.
This will help you know if you still have hopes of getting the relationship back. Once you are sure of it, you can shoot your shot again.
I forgot about it already
This is another way to show you accept your ex’s apology. Here, you are not actually saying you accept the apology.
Rather, you are showing that you are no longer angry. You have forgotten about the issue. That means you are no longer bothered by it and you have moved past it.
This also may show that you have moved on with your life but it doesn’t necessarily suggest this.
If you are willing to continue the relationship with your ex, you can go ahead and ask about his or her well-being.
After this, you can ask if he or she already has someone else. You won’t only get an answer to this but also a hint as to whether your ex is still interested in you or not. You just might be lucky.
I forgive you
This sounds like something one might hear from an ex that has moved on. If you have moved on with your life, you can smile and say you forgive him or her.
You don’t have to say whether you have someone else or not if your ex doesn’t ask. However, if you are scared of your ex making any wrong moves at you, you may feel safer telling him or her about your new spouse or boyfriend.
If you haven’t moved on with your life, you can ask about your ex’s well-being and his or her status.
Alright. So what happens now?
“Alright” may not feel like the right response to an apology so you shouldn’t say just that. To show that you truly accept the apology, you can smile and nod to show you forgive him or her.
Then you can say this and ask the attached question. By asking ‘what happens now’, you are inquiring about what may be in your ex’s mind.
Even though you are not directly implying, this question will give the idea that you may be interested in continuing with the relationship. If you have moved on, you may want to avoid this question.
However, if you haven’t, it is better to know what you both plan to do with each other instead of sulking around and starting over again like new lovers. Asking about your ex’s thoughts will save you that stress.
This sounds slightly formal and it is typical of an ex who has moved on and is doing happily with another person.
If this is not you, you may choose a different option or, at least, say it in a way that suggests genuine forgiveness.
It shouldn’t suggest genuine forgiveness alone but also existent interest.
After saying you have accepted your ex’s apology, you can ask about friends or close people you know around him or her. This shows that you are truly past it
If you are interested in him or her, you can just ask about the relationship and if it can still work out. There is a high chance your ex wants you back. That may explain the apology you are getting.
I am sorry for all I did too
As I mentioned earlier, taking part of the blame can be a way of showing that you have accepted a person’s apology.
It doesn’t only show that you have forgiven him or her but it will genuinely relieve your ex of that burden.
Simply saying you forgive a person may not convince him or her that you are no longer offended. However, taking part in the blame shows understanding. It shows you are not angry with him or her.
When you say this, you are also indirectly asking your ex to forgive you. However, it won’t be seen that way.
Before your ex comes to you with an apology, he or she must have forgotten about your faults or, at least, forgiven you for all you may have done.
If you hope to continue the relationship, this makes it very easy. Immediately you both get to smile at each other, you can directly ask about how he or she feels about your relationship.
I forgave you long ago
This response is already phrased like you may not be expecting the relationship to continue. However, it doesn’t have to mean so.
This response sounds like the rift between you and your ex may have lasted a while. If this is the case, you can simply accept your ex’s apology by saying this.
After saying this, you can ask about his or her well-being and family. If you have not moved on and you hope to continue a relationship with him or her, you can ask about your relationship status.
You may feel a bit reluctant to ask this question but it is important so you don’t keep your hopes up when there is no hope.
Also, it will save you the stress of looking for signs of affection if you both confess your feelings for each other.
What can I say? I’ve missed you
This is so straightforward and sweet. You should say this if you are still really interested in your ex. This passes the message immediately and you don’t have to waste any time.
You don’t even have to start by accepting the apology. This automatically says you have accepted the apology and you are willing to move forward immediately.
Even though you did not say you have accepted the apology, this response will show that you are no longer angry with your ex.
You can immediately ask if he or she has moved on or the relationship can be continued from where you stopped.
I wish you had said this earlier. I forgive you
This sounds a bit sad. It’s what you will most likely hear from an ex who has moved on with life. It doesn’t necessarily mean you have moved on but it will pass the idea to your ex.
If you have a new girlfriend or spouse, this response implies that you are still interested in your ex and you wish you were able to continue your relationship before you moved on.
This can break the heart of your ex but it won’t do so immediately if you don’t say it directly. After saying this, you can ask about your ex’s well-being. You may even ask about his or her relationship just to know.
There is a high chance he or she will also ask about your relationship, then you can confirm his or her suspicion by saying you already have someone new.
I’m no longer angry with you. Glad to hear this though.
Just like the option mentioned earlier, this response also suggests that you have moved in with your life.
You are accepting the apology but you are also indirectly implying that you may be unable to continue your relationship.
If you are not interested in continuing your relationship with him or her, you can give this response and say nothing else.
This will show that you are no longer interested in having the relationship. It doesn’t mean you have someone else yet.
It is even much better to not continue the conversation to the point where you are asked about your relationship status.
Saying you don’t have anyone else may give the idea that you can still continue the relationship.
10 Ways To Respond To Your Ex’s Apology (If you don’t accept the apology)
So am I
This is a quick and dismissive response. Your face should make it clear that you are not accepting the apology. However, this doesn’t end the conversation unless you successfully walk out on him or her.
By saying ‘So am I’, you are implying that you are also sorry. However, you clearly do not mean it. If you are sorry, you won’t be saying it this way.
Saying you are sorry means you are admitting your fault in the matter. It also automatically means you are forgiving your ex. It would seem preposterous not to.
When you say ‘So am I’ in a place where you can’t walk out, you should be ready to resist your ex even more. You can tell your ex to leave you alone for the moment.
I have heard you
Here is another dismissive way to respond to your ex’s apology if you don’t accept it. Saying you have heard does not mean you have accepted.
In fact, in a context like this, it most likely means you have not accepted the apology. You are still angry with your ex and you are simply dismissing him or her.
You can also say this if you accept the apology. To show that you accept the apology, you have to put more life into your response. You have to add a few more words.
You can choose to address the issue or just say something else and ask fair questions. This should explain how you would normally react if you don’t accept the apology.
You would be responding without seeming present in the conversation. You may even ignore it totally.
Took you so long
This shows that you are pissed. You are not just angry about what broke your relationship apart but also angry about your ex’s failure to realize his or her mistake in time.
When you say this, you can immediately add that you have moved on and you have a new person. This will or should automatically end the conversation with your ex.
If he or she insists on forgiveness, you can say you have heard, then tell him or her to leave you alone.
I’m glad you realize now
This is a response you can give if you accept the apology. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you do. Your ex may also not think you do.
That is massively dependent on your body language and how you react to his or her presence.
When you say this, you don’t have to say anything else. You can choose to walk out or you can look away and ignore.
This gesture will make it clear that you are still angry and you are not accepting the apology. Some persons may remain adamant so you can bluntly make it clear that you already have a new lover.
We are doing fine apart already as you can see
This is a way to make it clear that you don’t accept the apology and you don’t want to see your ex. This response may even come impulsively if you have a new lover whose heart you don’t want to break.
When we have someone we love, we tend to aggressively reject everything or persons that may stand in the way.
This response will show that you have not forgiven your ex. It will also inform your ex that you have moved on with your life.
That doesn’t fix anything
This is another response you can give if you have moved on with your life. It will automatically pass the idea to your ex that your relationship can’t go any further and can’t be restarted.
This may mean that you have someone else in your life. You are saying your ex’s apology cannot bring the both of you back together.
Your ex may continue to apologize, thinking he or she is doing something wrong. In addition to this response, you can make it clear that the apology is needless since you have moved on with your life.
I still need some time
This is one of the most common responses given in this situation but it should only be used if you think the relationship can still be continued.
If you don’t plan to continue the relationship with your ex, it is better to make it clear instead of making him or her wait.
This doesn’t mean you don’t accept the apology. Rather, it means you have not forgiven him or her for whatever has been done to you. This also means you will still consider forgiving your ex after healing from the hurt.
Alright. I’ll think about it
As mentioned earlier, saying ‘Alright’ is not the right response to an apology but that is only if you are accepting the apology.
You can use this response to dismiss your ex. It means you don’t accept the apology but you may think about it later.
I’m still dealing with this. Some other time
This implies that you are not ready to listen to your ex’s apology. However, it doesn’t aggressively shut the door on him or her.
You are directly saying you only need some time and you may forgive him or her later.
I’m sorry too. Good luck
This sounds like something you may hear during a breakup. When your ex apologizes, saying ‘I’m sorry’ like this doesn’t mean you have also done something wrong.
It most likely means you are about to do something your ex won’t like or you are about to end the relationship.
After saying ‘good luck’, you should walk out or ignore it totally.