Are you constantly harassed, bullied, or looked down on? Regardless of if your head is big or not, no one has the right to insult you or lower your esteem.
Maybe you’ve been keeping quiet about their insults, hoping they would eventually stop, but they haven’t, you can give these witty and funny comebacks to put them in their place.
“Thanks, but that’s because there is a functioning brain in there, what’s your excuse?”
This is a very hit-on response, starting with saying thanks, such that you are not hurt by their sentence, giving you an edge, and saying that what’s your excuse is like saying, you also have a big head, but then your brain isn’t functioning.
It’s like throwing the insult back in his/her face but with more spices. And at the same time, it shows that you are not affected by whatever he or she says.
Showing indifference alone is enough of a comeback, as it means that their goal to irk you was not achieved.
Thank you, that’s why I am so brilliant
This is a more calm comeback. It’s like turning his insult around to a compliment. While saying this, give a smile. Show that you don’t care whatever they think about you. Be the bigger person.
This could be even more painful than insulting them back. Any bully aims to end your self-esteem, and your confidence, turning the insult around not only shows that what they say can’t affect your confidence but even your self-worth.
“It’s still smaller than yours anyway.”
This is a rather funny but painful comeback to give when someone calls you a bighead. This is like saying, yes, my head might be big, but yours is even bigger.
It will hurt the person even more if the people around you burst into laughter. Say it with an air of indifference, so he or she understands that you don’t give a dime for whatever they say.
“Me? I advise you to check the mirror before you point fingers”
This is a very witty response that you can give. Say it like you truly mean it, regardless of whether your head is big or not.
This is like saying, if you look in the mirror, you’ll see that your head is even bigger than mine. Let your expression match your words for a more accurate effect.
“Yes, small head”
This is one typical way I reply to anybody who tries to talk me down with any of my bodily features. For example, even if it is not your head, maybe he/she says you’re fat, then you can reply with, “Hey tinny”.
If he says you are short, then you can reply with, “Hey tally” In essence you can reply with the exact opposite of whatever he/she calls you. So if anybody calls you big head, tell them the problem isn’t that yours is too big, but rather that theirs is too small.
“Wow, what a great achievement, I thought you’d lost the ability to observe anything”
This is a witty comeback, it’s a way of throwing back an insult. This is like saying, he has lost the ability to reason by his/her self. It shifts the object of focus from your big head to his or her shallow mind/ reasonableness.
“Your potbelly could compete with it.”
This is like saying your belly is just as big, if not even bigger than my head. This is a good comeback, because, mostly, you can’t do anything about having a big head, you were born that way.
However, a pot belly is caused by oneself. Probably the food they eat or lack of exercise.
I agree, but your foolishness is bigger than it.
This is such a stingy comeback. It is like repackaging the same insult in a bigger container and throwing it back at him or her.
If you know that your head is big and you are bold and confident enough to agree, there is no point avoiding it, agree that your head is big, then give a good throwback.
This is more than saying that he is just foolish, but is a better way of packaging foolishness.
“Don’t tell me you are jealous just because the brain in it is bigger than yours”
This is hilarious, but a very good comeback. You can say this with an expression of surprise to add more drama to your comeback.
By saying this, you are implying that he or she is less brilliant, intelligent, or wise than you. At the same time, you are pointing out that they are jealous of you.
This might even get them mad, because most of the time, such people are jealous of you.
Yes, but it’s the same size with your eyes, forehead and dumbness
It’s hilarious even though it is hurtful to the person to whom you are speaking. Admitting that your head is big, regardless of the actual size, makes them understand that regardless of how your head looks, you are proud of your head and all your bodily features.
At the same time, you are telling them that their forehead and eyes are also big, you are also telling them that they are very dumb.
Keep talking, and soon enough your mouth will measure thrice its size, it’s already double its size.
I don’t think there is any better way to say someone has a big mouth than this way. Big mouth in the sense that he is always spewing foul words. Always insulting, always bullying.
This is a very good comeback, especially to someone who has been continuously jabbing you at every given opportunity.
It might not necessarily even be you, but if he or she is someone who is known for hurling insults at people, this is a perfect comeback for such people.
I would have given you a dirty look, but you already have one.
If this isn’t funny to you, then I don’t think I know what is. Although it is a funny response, it is also witty and hurtful making it a perfect comeback.
What you are trying to say indirectly is that he or she has a dirty look already. Dirty here simply means ugly, unpleasant, or disgusting looks. There is no better way to say “You look disgusting” than to put it this way.
“I guess since stupidity is not a crime, you can spit whatever gibberish you want.”
This is like a double comeback, it’s like saying he is stupid and at the same time saying what he is saying is senseless. The first half of the statement is indirectly saying that he or she is stupid.
While the other half is saying that he is foolish and unintelligent and the words he says are meaningless.
Also, you are nullifying whatever insult he threw your way, because if his or her words are meaningless, then calling you a bighead is meaningless, which essentially means you don’t have a big head.
Wow, a thought crossed your mind, it must have been such a long lonely journey.
This is hilariously insulting. You are telling the person that he can’t think on his own. Saying it was a long journey means, he isn’t a thoughtful person, and that it took him such a long time to think up something this reasonable.
Saying it was a lonely journey means he probably won’t have another reasonable thing to say for another long time.
I am already busy right now, I would have loved the pleasure of ignoring you.
This is quite an intelligent response. The fact that you are implying that you are not ignoring him presently, doesn’t mean that you won’t ignore him.
Rather, it means that you are too busy right now to intentionally have time to pay attention to whatever he/she is saying. It’s like saying; “I am not busy for your shit right now”
“Keep giving it a trial, maybe one day you’ll finally say something sensible.”
This reply hits the nail on the head, it’s like hitting the right target. Not only are you saying that every word he or she speaks is insensible, but you are also saying that he has to keep trying to say something sensible.
How dull must one be for this to be realistically true? This is simply calling someone dull, but in a more spiced-up, hateful way.
“What a pity, you can’t Photoshop characters”
To Photoshop is to alter a digital image with an imaging Editing software, in a way that distorts reality, for deliberate deceptive purposes.
Photoshop is usually done to make a person’s image more beautiful or more appealing. So it’s like saying his character is so ugly, but unfortunately enough, you can’t change it.
“I must have overestimated the number of brain cells you have”
This is a more intelligent comeback. The number of brain cells you have shows how intelligent you can be. It is like saying, I overestimated how intelligent you can be, or, I thought you were more intelligent than this.
“What a pity you hold on tightly to ignorance”
This is another very good comeback. It’s calling him or her an ignorant person. An ignorant person lacks knowledge, mostly, such people are ignorant of even what they think they know
“I might not think you’re an idiot, but what’s my opinion compared to so many others?”
This is quite funny, stingy comebacks that you can give. Although you said you don’t think of him as an idiot, you are at the same time indirectly calling him or her an idiot.
You are not just calling him an idiot, you are establishing the fact that he is an idiot. You are at the same time stepping on his or her ego because you are saying that everybody else thinks him an idiot.
Wrap Up
It’s not every time you have to sit down and keep quiet when insulted. Sometimes, you have to speak up too, depending on your choice you can give a witty, funny, jovial, or insulting reply, all listed above.
More importantly than giving a comeback, you shouldn’t let whatever they say get to you. Don’t let them make you feel inferior or lower your self-esteem. That is their ultimate goal.
And most of the time when people insult you like this, they are usually jealous of you. Don’t look at yourself just because of any bodily defect you have, you are just as good if not even better than most of the people who throw insults at you.