The best response to someone asking “where you at?” depends on who is asking. But in a normal (and sometimes more serious) situation, the expected response should convey your location, your estimated time of arrival (ETA), and your intended destination.
But it could also be that you are looking for a response to give someone you are avoiding, or you want to answer in a rather witty or sarcastic style. Whatever the case may be, I’ve always got your back.
When someone asks you, “Where are you?” the following 15 responses are great replies to use. However, some of these responses will not suit every situation.
For this reason, we should first be on the same page about what “where are you at?” really means:
“Where you at?” Meaning
“Where you at?” is just a way of asking someone’s location. It is a casual, informal way of asking someone where they currently are.
However, the term is usually used during a telephone conversation but has been used as an expression long before cell phones existed.
This question can also be used to make plans to meet up with someone or to locate someone in a crowded place. You can even be asked this question in a more urgent or serious situation, for example, when trying to locate someone who is lost or late for an appointment.
Whether you’re making plans with friends, trying to find someone in a crowd, or dealing with a more urgent situation, there are a variety of ways to respond.
And even if you don’t want to reveal your exact location, you can use some of the sarcastic response examples in the list below to leverage deflection.
15 funny replies to “Where you at?”
1. “On the throne”
When someone asks for your location and you say “on the throne,” it is an idiomatic way to respond that you are currently in a position where you shouldn’t be answering such a question.
For example, many people use “on the throne” to deduce that they are in the bathroom or using the toilet. It can also be used to divert attention away from the details of the question.
2. “I’m at <insert location>, and I’m on my way”
In cases where you want to be straightforward and honest in answering the question, you can. It gives the impression that your current location is irrelevant and should not be shared at that time.
When the person expects you to be somewhere at a particular time and you’re running pretty late.
Instead of giving excuses that do not hold water, simply say you are in an exact place and currently on your way to the destination.
3. “I’m at the finish line”
The finish line is a metaphor that many people use to refer to when they’ve reached the end of something and are achieving expected results.
When someone asks you “where you at,” it could mean that they want to know what stage you have reached in an assignment, project, or general task. In such a case, you can use the finish line.
It is best used when you don’t want to give much but only want to communicate the fact that you are done with the task at hand.
For example, your supervisor could call you and ask where you are on a project, and instead of saying you are almost done with the task, you could say, “I’m at the finish line.” It’s creative and figurative.
4. “I just finished my ascent, I’m at the top of Mount Everest.”
This is a rather sarcastic yet funny way of responding to someone asking for your location. It gives the impression that your current location is irrelevant and should not be shared at that time.
Of course, the other person would instantly know you are making jokes or exaggerating, but it is a befitting response to use when you are pretending to be doing something important when, in reality, you are somewhere else or doing something else that is mundane.
5. “I’m on a unicorn, heading to the moon”
The image of riding a unicorn to the moon is fanciful and unrealistic. While the person would understand that you are being playful, it also means your location is not relevant to the person at that moment, (or you don’t want it to be)
This response is a way to express that you’re in a good or carefree mood. You can also use it to express that you’re doing something fun or exciting.
6. “I’m at the bottom of the ocean, just finished a dive”
This is another way to respond to someone when they ask you “where you at” in a silly funny way. It could be used to express that you are in a location that is difficult to describe or explain.
The person will know you are not being serious, but it is an interestingly worded deflection response.
7. “I’m painting my reality”
I have seen this response while reading novels and watching movies, and I think any script writer would love the creative spirit that this response conveys when one is asked, “Where are you at?”
When you use this reply, it could give the impression that you are not willing to share your location or that you want to return your focus to something that the phone call has distracted you from.
8. “I’m at the North pole, just having a picnic with the polar bears”
We can’t get enough of the sarcasm and hilarious remarks for questions that you wish to deflect from. When you don’t want to reveal your location, there are several ways of expressing that.
It’s a good response to use when you want to make your current location sound more interesting and exciting than it is.
10. “I’m at the point where ‘up’ and ‘down’ meet”
If you are not referring to Stranger Things’ Upside Down, then you are playing a mind game with the person as a means to playfully switch the topic.
When someone asks, “Where are you at?” This response will serve as a fanciful and funny reply, instead of giving your exact location.
It can also be a way to say you are in a place that is dull or uninteresting, but you want to make it sound a little exciting.
11. “I’ll be there in 10 minutes”
I mentioned earlier that when someone asks for your location, one possible response you can give is to share your estimated time of arrival. In an emergency, this is what the person asking wants to know.
So, instead of attempting to describe where you are at that moment, you can let the person know how soon you will arrive.
12. “I’m still on earth!”
Perhaps this is the seventh time someone has asked you, “Where are you?” and you can’t help but notice how disturbing they are. The good news is that there is a nicer way to say, “Shut the f**k up!” I’m on my way”
Simply saying “I’m still on earth,” means that the questions about your location bother you.
13. “I’m transcending time and space”
This is a poetic way to give an abstract but fanciful answer when you don’t want to reveal your current location. The person would understand that you are simply exaggerating or making fun of the idea of transcending time and space.
It is also a sarcastic way to tell the person you are in a normal or mundane location and the tone of your voice while saying this is all that matters.
14. “Oh! Just hanging around, doing nothing. Would you like to have dinner?”
A rather courteous way to respond when someone asks for your location is to reveal the activity you are currently engaged in, and then initiate an offer, especially if you like that person. Someone may be asking for your location or what you are doing because they want to seize the opportunity to hang out with you. For such a situation, this is a sound response.
Another way you can put it is to say: “I’m at <insert place> with <insert name of person>, can I help you?”
Alternatively, you can end the sentence with an offer to the table by simply saying “Would you like to join us?”
15. “Can’t talk right now, I’m busy”
Finally, I use the “Can’t talk right now, I’m busy” response often when someone asks for my location and I don’t feel like revealing it. This is an effective way to reply when you suspect that the person is asking for your location for irrelevant reasons.
By saying you can’t talk right now, it sends the idea that you are in an environment where side talks aren’t entertained such as a meeting, courtroom, conference, or classroom.
Conclusion
It’s worth noting that some of the funny and witty responses in the above list are just for jokes and fun, it’s best to provide your accurate location in any serious situation.
Ultimately, the response you choose will depend on the person asking and the seriousness of the situation.
As I mentioned earlier, you can choose to give your location, estimated time of arrival, and intended destination, or simply avoid the question by replying in a sarcastic style.